Conscious Order

How many times a day do you use the word SHOULD?

I encourage you to pay attention to your “SHOULD-ing.” It is a word that can be very depleting and problematic. It can keep you from moving forward and getting things done.

Louise Hay (author of many New Thought self-help books, including You Can Heal Your Life) is the first person who helped me recognize how powerful and disempowering the word SHOULD is. When we use the word SHOULD, it feels like it is coming from someone outside of ourselves—a parent, a sibling, a boss, a partner, a friend. It sometimes feels like an external condemnation of our putting something off or not meeting someone else’s expectations. Yes, you may SHOULD on yourself, and you can choose to do so, but, think about it, how does it make you feel? Usually pretty rotten!

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We often hear that “change is inevitable,” but our ability to deal with change can make the difference between joy and despair, fulfillment and disappointment. This quote from American author William Arthur Ward describes it well:

Change, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a dusk.

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In recent years, I’ve become much more aware of how our life can be divided into chapters. Whether we’re sorting photos and memorabila, going through books and papers, even kitchen appliances and dishes, or sports equipment and hobby supplies, it’s interesting to note what we hold on to from earlier chapters of our life, as well as what we might need (or not need) for future chapters.

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As summer approaches, some of us wish we could get SOMEthing done in the next few weeks (or months). Here are a few thoughts and tips that might help.

1. Recognize that how you use your time is a product of your own choices. Take time to choose some of the simple tactics below to get you started.

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As we begin the New Year, there are many words of advice written, especially about resolutions and goals. As I’ve mentioned in earlier writings, for the last ten years or so, I’ve been resistant to making New Year’s resolutions and goals, mainly because it’s always felt like I was setting myself up for failure…again. Does this sound familiar?

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We bought “the perfect house” five months ago. We had pre-qualified for our loan, mapped out “the perfect plan” to sort, pack, make some changes in our new house, have a moving sale, and then move in. There was plenty of time, we thought!

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In Part I, I suggested that each time we move, we have another opportunity to do some shedding—to “let go and lighten up.” And I promised I would share some of the ways I’ve been able to make changes in my mind that have allowed me to make decisions more easily about what to let go of and what to keep. (Note: If you have no plans to move in the near future, pretend you are moving and ask, “Would I take this with me when I move?”)

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There’s something special about the Fall season. There’s the harvesting of all that has been growing and coming into its fullness, and there is also nature’s process of letting go—dropping the leaves in preparation for the new growth of another season. So there are lots of changes taking place, and I invite you to pay more attention to them, allowing them to inspire your own changes and any desire you have to let go.

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Have you ever noticed how much simpler life can be when you’re “going with the flow?”

It’s something I’ve done my best to practice for many years, suggesting my clients do the same, but in recent weeks, I’ve become much more aware of it in a number of different situations.

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I’ve never been much of a worrier, but through the years I’ve certainly seen firsthand how exhausting and debilitating it can be. In fact, watching people worry and be so anxious and miserable has always made me determined not to worry. It’s never looked like it was much fun!

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